Guilty. 

What woman doesn’t feel guilty a large part of the time?

It’s in our wiring. 

We feel guilty working out. We feel guilty meditating or journalling. We feel guilty pursuing our passions and hobbies. We feel guilty taking time for ourselves. 

A lot of that guilt comes from thinking we should be doing other things: spending time with our children, helping our aging parents, doing housework, finishing up work projects, etc. 

But that guilt could be preventing us from being our best selves and living a life we love. 

Why? 

Because feeling guilty doesn’t serve us or the people we love. It keeps us trapped and prevents us from living the life we desire, the life we deserve. 

We need to actively overcome feeling guilty all the damn time so we can fully embrace who we are meant to be: happy, healthy, confident women.

How do we stop feeling guilty all the time? 

By taking these 5 steps:

1. Acknowledge that you feel guilty. 

2. Ask yourself why. Did you really do something wrong, or do you perceive you did something wrong? There is a difference. 

3. Remind yourself of all the things you do and how many of them you did right. It’s important to celebrate the small wins just as much as the big victories. 

4. Tell yourself it’s okay to have your own needs and that your time, energy, and money are yours and you get to choose how you spend them. 

5. Be kind to yourself. There is no such thing as perfection, so stop acting like there is. You are not a bad person if you make a mistake. You’re human. 

The next time you feel guilty about something, pause and reflect. Use these 5 steps to acknowledge and move past the guilt. 

Because feeling guilty for taking time for yourself doesn’t serve anyone and it will block you from living a life you love. Part of loving your life is doing things to make sure you’re at your best and that your cup is full.

Yet, many women feel guilty or selfish filling their own cups first—it goes against our need to please others and make them feel happy.  

But do you remember the oxygen mask analogy? 

You need to put your mask on first before helping anyone else. The same is true for filling your cup. 

Many women are so focused on filling everyone else’s cup around them that they neglect to fill their own, leaving them overwhelmed, exhausted, and burned out. How are you going to help anyone else in that state?

Taking time to make sure your cup is full not only helps you feel happier and healthier, but it also has a ripple effect on others in your family, your workplace, and your community. 

In Burnout to Bliss, we explore different ways to make filling your cup a part of your daily life so that you feel happier, healthier, and more confident. Over 12 weeks, you will leave guilt, overwhelm, and exhaustion behind as you discover how to relax and put yourself first so that you can be the mom and partner you want to be. 

Let me show you four ways filling your own cup can ripple out to others:

Be an active role model

We all know we should aim for 150 minutes of physical activity each week. 

But making time to workout when we also have careers, families, and other commitments can be challenging, and we don’t always make it a priority in our busy lives. 

You already know all the benefits for yourself (and if you need a refresher, check out my blog post Move Your Body!), but have you stopped to think about how you’re also benefiting those around you?

By choosing to be active every day, you are showing up as a healthy role model. You’re showing them that you value your health and that looking after yourself is important. Your mood will be better, positively impacting your behaviour. They will be inspired by you and want to be active as well. 

Being active as a whole family encourages everyone to have fun and bond together as well—it opens up so many more opportunities for things to do together. 

Be a healthy eater

When you eat well, you have more energy and you feel good. If you’re preparing healthy, delicious meals, your family members are more likely to enjoy them too. 

Eating healthy doesn't have to be a chore. There are a multitude of ways to make it simpler and more enjoyable. Read The Key to Healthy Eating is Simpler Than You Think for some help getting started.

Having a well-stocked fridge full of healthy choices (fruit, vegetables, hummus, yogurt, etc.) and a pantry with minimally processed foods (read labels!) can help everyone in the house make good choices, not just you. 

Be a good sleeper

Modelling a bedtime routine, getting up at the same time, and keeping the bedroom free from distractions, like a TV or phone, can also ripple out to other family members. Everyone will benefit from being well rested, so spend time optimizing bedrooms and bedtime routines. I shared some sleep tips a few weeks ago on the blog if you’re not sure where to start.

Pursue your passions

Doing things you love inspires others to do the same. It’s important for your children and your partner to see you excited about something and you deserve to spend some time doing things that make your heart happy. 

When your heart is happy, you are happy, and your mood and behaviour toward others will reflect it. 

Sharing hobbies and interests with those you love is also a worthwhile pursuit. Join a book club with your best friend, or a cooking class with your work wife. You get to spend quality time with someone whose company you enjoy AND you get to do something you’re passionate about—it’s a win-win. 

So, how are you going to fill your cup this week?

The next time you feel guilty for doing something for yourself, I dare you to seek out the ripple effect. How has it impacted those around you? It might just take some of that guilt away and encourage you to pursue more of what makes you happy.